Why Setting Boundaries Is Essential To Your Overall Happiness
#1, boundaries aren’t mean, they are essential for healthy relationships.
Think of it this way: If you have cows or horses in a field, but leave the gate open, they will gradually (or quickly) leave that designated safe area for what’s outside. But what’s outside is often dangerous and not good for the animals, though they don’t always understand this. The same goes for people. When we put up boundaries, we are essentially “fencing in” our safe areas for people to stay. When and if those boundaries are broken, our relationships suddenly drift into the unsafe danger zone and that’s a recipe for disaster.
When boundaries are used properly, they transform our relationships into thriving, healthy units. That’s where we all want them to be!
So here’s the dealy-o: being scared to set a boundary will without a doubt cause you more pain in the end then setting that boundary in the first place. Sure it’s usually scary and hard at first, but allowing people to keep disrespecting your safe space and staying in the danger zone will only cause more problems down the road then nipping it in the bud, right out of the gate.
It’s necessary to defend your home and your heart, but where people often go wrong, is setting boundaries for the wrong reasons. It’s surprisingly easy to drift into the self survival mode when setting boundaries, but that’s not exactly where we need to be.
When interacting with people, it’s important to come from a place of love. And hold your breath, because, I of all people know, that is not always the case. Emotions tend to run my life at times. I lash out in fits of raw emotions, pushing those around me into unsafe places. I don’t want to do that anymore.
What humans must strive towards is a Godly and empathetic spirit – and that is wayyyy easier said than done! When you get angry at someone, how do you feel internally? We lash out because of we hurt in our hearts. If we can realize this within other people it will become easier to respond rather than react. To guard our hearts with our own boundaries, but still hold a space for those around us, even strangers.
It’s like dancing on a tightrope at times, but with practice, it gets easier. I challenge you to inspect your own heart. Do you have boundaries, and if yes, do you enforce them? Do you react over respond? All of these questions are key in better understanding ourselves so we can better understand those around us. It’s a cycle, the more you know yourself, the more you can understand those around you. And at the end of the day, that’s what it’s all about.